What you do matters. HoW you do it matters more. Provocative I know in a “just do it, actions speak louder than words” world. So consider this.
· You ask two people to do the very same thing – one takes perfect action – the other, well, not so much.
· Two bosses tell you about the same mistake or flaw – one makes you want to improve and the other makes you see red?
· You are negotiating a deal and the other person suddenly turns on you for no apparent reason?
Chances are, it wasn’t so much the What involved as the HoW.
Have you ever had a poor outcome, not because of what you’ve done, (of course!), but because someone else didn’t cooperate or contribute as you had expected? Suddenly what seemed so easy, so simple, so “all on the same team,” ….. becomes complex – people resisting you, ignoring you, doing things, well just wrong! This has led many very talented, very smart leaders to the proverbial banging of the head moment.
We almost always analyze our actions – What we did – which is useful in improving tasks and processes. When it comes to improving our ability to influence and persuade others, it takes more. We need to step back and look at how we did it. What’s underneath our actions, what’s motivating others and how do we (or not) adapt our approach?
The good news is that when you harness the power of “what you do” with the magic of “how you do it” – what you say with how you say it -– You harness the WoW of leadership to motivate others.
Why bother? Every interaction we have either strengthens or weakens how others perceive us as leaders. And how others perceive us as leaders either strengthens or weakens our chances of success.
The next time you need the cooperation or contribution of another human being to accomplish your outcomes, try some of the following tips…but be careful, you may just create some raving fans and get a lot more done:
1. Get clear on the outcome you want and why: Clarify must have’s vs. nice to haves.
2. Once you are clear, Don’t focus solely on your needs.
Focus On the Needs of Those You Need.
3. “Timing is everything”: Right time, right place really does matter. There is almost nothing that can’t wait 24 hours.
4. Consider Style: “Great minds do not think alike.” We all have different ways of viewing and interacting with the world. (More on this coming soon!).
5. Give to get: Build your relationship bank account – Give me a “win”, Give me respect and Give when you don’t just need something from me.
6. Share your positive intent: If you don’t tell me, I will make it up. (and it might not be so positive.)
7. Question Assumptions: People don’t do dumb things on purpose! – What fundamental assumptions am I making that differ from yours?
8. Finally, Live often in the Other Person’s Perspective. Want to persuade me? Then make my case for me first!